10 Tips to Get Your Anger Under Control
- Create a “Calm Down Corner”. Similar to a time out your calm down corner gives you the time you need to adjust to what ever is going on around you before blowing your top ie. Losing your temper. The Calm Down corner can be an actually place, a spot that you create in your mind or both.
- Distance Yourself. Instead of continuing to occupy the same space with the person, you are frustrated with, change your scenery and regain your composure.
- Talk About It. Once you have had a moment to cool down and when you are calm, expressing yourself is a healthy and assertive way to relieve the frustration. Remember assertive is getting what you need and want without aggressive tactics. Often times it requires effective listening.
- Exercise. Physical activity – especially that when it produces a sweat – is a great outlet for your emotions. When practiced regularly it helps to reduce stress and anxiety.
- Think First Speak Last. In the height of a disagreement, it is easy to say things which we do not mean because of the intense emotion.
- Problem Solve. Focus your attention on reaching a middle ground. Perhaps there was a misunderstanding or a difference in communication styles which incited the problem. When you partner with someone to find solutions it creates an atmosphere of teamwork and both parties are more likely to cooperate.
- “I” statements. By using “I” statemenst the blame and judgement is removed from the disagreement. “I am upset that you did not help with the housework”, goes a lot further than “You should have helped with the housework”.
- Hold Grudges. When you hold a grudge it keeps you locked in a moment in time and doesn’t allow the relationship to develop. Forgiveness is freedom and removes the burden of having to carry the mental weight of past actions and behaviors.
- Laugh. Nothing lightens up a situation like pure laughter. It releases tension and can return the breathing to a natural calm state.
- Relax Youself. Learning to relax and distress on a regular will prevent emotional flare ups. Meditation, deep breathing, or visualization will keep your glass below half full so that when problems do arise there isn’t a spillage.